If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
