End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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