I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
