i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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