That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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