i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
