he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
