apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
