he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
