did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone came in the potted fern
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
