11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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