Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
