We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
