You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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