i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
