guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
