That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
