"it" just moved
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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