okay pat passed out under dana's car
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
