Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
