Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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