Where did you get a picture of my penis
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
