if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
