member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
