Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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