ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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