I CAN MOONWALK!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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