I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
