i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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