im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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