Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
