NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
