i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
