when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
