I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
