She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
