Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
