how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
