I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
