Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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