do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
