office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
