soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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