Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
