is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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