i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
