Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
