So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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