So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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