maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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