I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
