it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
